"Cowardice asks the question...is it safe? Expediency asks the question...is it politic? Vanity asks the question...is it popular? But conscience asks the question...is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because it is right." ~Dr. Martin Luther King

Tuesday 31 December 2013

A Conversation Likely to Go Nowhere

I  have young   friends who crave a child im their livces more than  life itself .

Through no fault of theirs, they have not been blessed .

In every way they are suitable  parents . a loving home.  loving childhood  background . means to provide ...financially...socially...culturally

For ten years they have experienced the adoption  process with  Children's  Aid. 

Time and again , the choice  came down to themselves and one other couple. 

Time and again they met the children , twins on one occasion, and ached to hold them in a loving embrace. 

Just as often , in the final hour they were informed  it was not to be. Someone else was more suitable. 

It's a cold ,brutal, inhuman process.  Only the compelling need to be parents explainss why anyone would willingly  subject themselves  to  such excruciating emotional turmoil .

George Smitherman , retired Liberal Cabinet Minister, introduced his "husband" at a Liberal fundraiser shortly before he declared as candidate for the office of Mayor of Toronto. 

Early  in the campaign , he told reporters he almost didn't make it to a campaign meeting. He had difficulty finding a baby-sitter for his newly adopted  infant. It's not  been much more than three years since and he has a second  adopted child. 

The public was recently made aware Mr. Smitherman's "husband" has been suffering from severe depression and  this week  expired in sad but unpublicxised circumstances. 

Obviously, there are gaps in the story. Yet it's perfectly clear. It's  about more than Mr. Smitherman's 
sexual orientation.

So why is a comment from someone  whose  own life may be filled with sadness be relegated to the  status of homophobia ? 

If  homosexuality is as normal as heterosexuality , why   must  all  conversation  be focussed on sexual  prediliction?

In these  days, when marriage is a choice  and "partner " or "significant other " descxribes a relationship, why do homosexuals insist on using hetorosexual terms to describe the relationship. ?

Why do they feel they must? Why use the word "husband" but not the word "wife"?

When  Glen Murray resigned from the office of Mayor of Winnipeg , was it  mere coincidence he came to Ontario to pick up a  Liberal nomination, get elected and become Ontario's Minister of Transportation ?

Was it because he is gay?  

Is it O.K. to be prejudicial in favour of  homosexual?  But not against?

Is a homosexual family unit preferable to a heterosexual faamily unit   for adopted children ?

Who makes  the decision?  A fieldworker of unknown sexual  or political persuasion?

Did Glen Murray have a rainbow arching on his Liberal elections signs? 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why must the word husband be enclosed in quotation marks?

Anonymous said...

The adoption process does seem to be deeply flawed. There did appear to be bias when Mr Smitherman adopted his children so quickly. Now, due to the dreadful circumstances, there is an opportunity to examine what happened and why. That will have to include the consideration of the welfare of the children. Of course, the sexual orientation of the partners will be part of that review. But there were other red flags that were ignored. A history of drug abuse is a key indicator.

Anonymous said...


Mr. Smitherman was an MPP representing the riding of Toronto Centre from 1999 to 2010 when he resigned to seek the mayoralty of Toronto.

In 2003 he was re-elected and named to the Cabinet as Minister of Health and Long-Term Care. He was also named Deputy Premier and the Toronto Regional Minister.

Did the power and influence that came to him as a result of his political responsibilities play any role in the decisions of the Children's Aid Society to approve him and his partner as parents of children up for adoption?

What was the basis for the CAS decision?

That a middle-aged couple of gay men would make better parents than a young heterosexual couple who qualified in every respect may be "politically correct" in today's world, but it is not right.

While I realize that decisions of the CAS are probably extremely confidential, it would be interesting to know, especially in the Smitherman case, and now due to the fact that his partner is dead.

The Smitherman household now does not appear to offer children a normal upbringing going forward.

Anonymous said...

You can call a spade a spade on this blog. The previous post that started this discussion had a clear anti-gay comment, more than one picked up on it from what I can see.

Anonymous said...

12:29
Could we stick to this one specific instance without you trying to apply such a broad brush ?
What I am reading here and elsewhere -much less politely - concerns the children involved in This mess.
Nothing about adoption by gays in general at all.

Anonymous said...

14:01... Why are the children in this instance any different? What about the children of other couples when one of the parents die? Is the loss of a parent significant to the family (be they natural or adopted)?

If the Smithermans were male/female and the same thing happened, would it not be the same?